Light It up!
by phz
Summary: Things aren’t going well for Neku even after he regained his life after the game. Even if he learnt that friends are as important as his life but it is just too much for him to bear anymore. Joshua/Neku
1. Existense

Hi, this is my attempt on Angst, but I don't think it's going that path. -swt- Anyway. Merry Christmas!

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"Hey isn't that the boy who was addicted to drug?" One female student whispered to her gang of friends that were surrounding her. "No wonder he's that skinny!" But one of the girls disrupted them before they could continue with the rude rumor.

"Shh! He might hear! Can't you keep it down?"

Whispers. That was something that Neku was used to. School was horrible after he got back from the Reaper's Game. He tried to change his way on life, but the only one who could get close to were Shiki, Beat, Rhyme and surprisingly Eri. The others just shut him out of the circle without a reason.

The student in question gathered his books from his current lesson before making his way out of the classroom. Fate must really hate him for separating him from his newly made friends. As he did not have any classes with them, leaving him alone in his class full of students who do not even like him.

Chuckling bitterly to himself, he thought that this must be karma from before. How he treated the others before. It must be the vengeance from his deceased friend, he who invited to hang out, but was killed in the process. Adjusting his headphone's volume to a higher level, blocking out all the hurtful rumors circling around him endlessly, he proceeded to his school locker up ahead.

Ignoring the writings on his locker's door, he kept all his text books while taking only those that he needed. Neku sighed in relief that he was free from his upperclassmen today. It was not unusual to find some of the guys standing by his locker, waiting for the quiet boy to arrive and start their mocking. It was bearable when any of his friends was with him, but it was the month of exam, and everyone was pretty much busy with their own work.

Being alone was not strange to him. It only helped him calmed down more. He had always treasured the silent more than anything else even before he was 'killed'. With his shoulders sagged, he strolled pass the school gate, the guard was kind enough to smile a little at him, but he did not smile in return, only an expressionless glance and a nod.

The breeze was strong and icy as winter was approaching quickly. He did not have his jacket with him as he was on a rush that morning, he hugged himself a little tighter to acquire the little warmth he needed. In his state of unawareness, he did not notice the small footsteps that were closing in on him, until a warm hand grabbed his arm that is.

Wincing from the sudden force from the back, he bit back a small yelp that was about to be emitted out from his voice box. His glare softened when he saw the person who grabbed him was. It was Shiki. With her glasses almost falling off her nose, she must have been running to catch up to him. "… Hey Shiki," giving his best friend the best manageable smile he could make.

"Sakuraba Neku! Don't you 'Hey' me!" Bickered the brunette who was covered from head to toe in light brown winter coat with mittens and hat. Neku could not get to answer her as another question was shot at him again. "You are freezing! Why do you not have your jacket with you?!" A navy scarf with little grey kitten paws pattern was thrown around the taller teen's neck.

"I didn't bring them with me today. And, thanks Shiki," the now warmer teen gave his friend his gratitude before facing Shiki fully, face to face. "So… anything I can help you with?" Asked the ex-player with a genuine smile on his face, but something else came to his mind that he did not wait for an answer. "Aren't you busy with study? I don't want to bother you."

Neku was truly scared when he saw how his friend's expression changed from worried to happy, and now angry. He was yanked down when Shiki pulled the scarf down to her eye level. "Don't you dare run away from me again! I haven't seen you for a while now!" Changing from the scarf to the boy's hand, she dragged him towards a warmer place. Neku could not help but follow the lead.

**xxxtimeskipxxx**

In the end, the two teens stopped by the only café they knew they did be comfortable in. WildKat, the café that was rarely seen with customers and it was still one of Shibuya's wonder that it could survive in the market for so long.

Hanekoma Sanae or also known as Mr. H, greeted them when they came in from the outside. Scratching his neck a little when saw who were at the door, "Hey Kids. Come on in, get yourself comfortable, I will make some coffee."

"Come on, Neku, let's sit there, I got a lot to ask you," Said the brunette while still dragging the boy to a table around the corner. Neku felt like he was playing the twenty game, except all questions were thrown at him and he did not get to ask anything. Once Shiki was satisfied with the interrogation, she shut up and drank her coffee which was given to them when she was asking the fifth question.

Neku was staring at the coffee and was about to doze off if it wasn't for sudden declaration from Shiki that she could not stay any longer and needed to get back soon. He only nodded and saw her off from the café before getting back to his sit and stared and stared and stared at nothing particular. "Phones, you looked up you could use some snooze." Mr. H's voice startled him making him spilt some of the coffee out from the cup. A sigh can be heard from the older man, pushing the teen to the back room muttering something about sleep and couch.

Thanking the man for lending him the cushion, he passed out quickly from reality and into the world of nightmare.

However, on the other side of the café, Mr. H was talking with a man with pale color hair which most of them were hidden under a baseball cap. He wore a long light blue sleeve dress shirt along with casual blue faded old jeans. Of course no one would know that he was the composer of Shibuya unless one looked really closely. "Hey J, don't you think that Phones is a little weird today?" The composer of Shibuya snorted at his Producer. It was as clear as the day that the tired look from his Proxy's face could be seen.

The Composer frowned and looked beyond the door to the back room. Joshua had been spying on his proxy for a while, it was not just today that he's been like this, Neku's tiredness had started ever since he came back from the game. He was just that good at hiding his true feelings that no one noticed. But his little façade could not fool the Composer. He knew that his proxy was having nightmare every time he tried to sleep.

Waving his hand a little to Sanae, signaling that he was going in to check on his proxy, closing the door with soft push, he watched the orange haired boy tossed and turned on the narrow space of the couch. Glaring at the invisible objects that were crowding around the lithe body of the proxy, with a flick of his finger tips, he destroyed all the unwanted Noises away from the boy. Even with the Noises eliminated, Neku was still stuck in his world of nightmare.

Pulling the boy up from the couch, Joshua made him leant onto him while he stroked his sweaty bangs away from his face. He could hear clearly that the once bright and vibrant soul he knew inside was dimming at a deadly rate, giving the Composer a warning that, anymore of the torments, the person he knew and loved would no longer be the same.

Joshua smirked while imprinting some calm lullaby inside Neku's mind to help him sleep off better. He was going to change that if he could help, on one got to mess with his proxy other than him. Giggling to himself when he felt the smaller body snuggled against him. Yes, no one was going to take his amusement away unless he was the one to do it.

Even if the Higher Planes did not like it, like hell that was going to stop Joshua from making his partner's life better. He did not revive him just to see him suffering again.

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:D! Thank you for reading! I hope it's up to your standard of fiction! Even if it's an epic phailure. One day, maybe, I will continue this story line... R&R would be cool!


	2. Icy

The first thing he saw was his bedroom, with an angry digital clock blinking at him. Neku woke up in his bed, disarrayed, without even remembering he entered his own home. The last thing he was able to recollect was the meeting with Shiki. At WildKat. Nope, he did not remember himself walking home and unlocked the door to this dark apartment.

"Shit!"

A panic surge attacked him when Neku double checked the time his impatient clock was glaring at him. It was way pass the time that he should get ready to school! Pronto! A mad rush to the bathroom, followed by a quick shower, accompanied by a swift change of school uniform, wrinkles were made during the process. But the orange haired teen did not care about tidiness right now. Time was running out.

Rushing out of his home, with his school uniform clad on, Neku did not even glance at the door for one bit as it closed on its own with auto lock function. Running across the street of Dogenzaka, Ramen Doi was still as crowded as ever, since the Prince of Ennui, Ouji Eiji, 'F' the ramen there. Neku chuckled to himself for a moment that he remembered how empty it was during the second week of the game. Unfortunately, the memory brought more grief than he thought, reminding him of a certain Composer who had yet to show his face.

It was then that the stares were getting to him, as he was in the middle of 104 Building when he noticed everyone's stare. He wished that he had his player pin with him. The monochrome colored pin would at least give him some comfort, giggles from girls around him make him looked around his surrounding for once. Teenagers like him were out hanging out around stores and food shops alike, that's where it hit him. It was Saturday!

Neku slapped himself mentally and groaned. How stupid was he to mistake today as a school day. He should have checked his time clearly before rushing out of the house like a mad man. Sighed in relief that he was not going to be late for school but felt idiotic for wearing his school uniform, looking at the time now, it was barely pass morning, might as well get some breakfast before moving on.

Fast food was Neku's ideal breakfast at the moment, which resulted in the visit to Shibukyu Main Store, where one of Sunshine food chain store branched in. Being in the game had its advantages, if the shop owner knew you better and you might get a little more from them. Even though Neku knew it's not good to take advantage of it, but he did not care about that now. His day was just starting and felt that it was going to get worst.

With his headphone purring soft music around his ears, he devoured his food like there's no tomorrow. Having an empty stomach since the day before, it was no wonder. Eating his extra large fries, which were given to him out of love from the owner, he watched the people passed like a blur through the glass window from the second floor.

Spotting a group of 4 outside the building, they reminded the ex-player of his own group, which he almost forgot that they were going to meet up again today. Thanking silently to whichever god that made him remember the promised date. Getting up from his seat and ready to go, he waved a nervous goodbye to Miss Konno when she saw him leaving and smiling.

Walking towards the Statue of Hachiko was slow and quiet. Neku pondered whether he should pay a visit to his grandmother since she was the only relative in Shibuya Neku could relied on. It was after he came back from the game that his grandmother was caught in a car accident. Leaving her in coma, which answered to the reason why the apartment is dark and lonely. He doubted his parents knew about their own mother's situation, not that he cared. They never even cared about him, so why should he.

Shaking his head, it was not the time to think about depressing matter, he had to meet up with his friends soon and it would not be good for them to be depressed as well. They had their own problems as well. Since he was a little bit too early for the meeting, he sat near the symbol of Shibuya while waiting for his friends.

A sudden chill went up his spine when he was looking at a certain area. The same feeling he used to have when dangerous Noise was nearby. Making himself sit up straighter, he glanced around, muttering to himself. "It's impossible…" Neku was giving his mastered pins a tight grip; the pins were always with him whenever he went out. It became a habit somehow, to bring some of his pins with him outside. However, even with them here, it was not going to save him if he could not use it.

Maybe he was just thinking too much and thanks to that, the ex-player did not get enough sleep lately. Tugging his collar loose, he relaxed against the public bench when he saw a glimpse of two girls approaching him. Shiki and Eri were the first to come. Both of them giving him a weird look because his school uniform, but he just shrugged it off with an excuse, "I forgot it is Saturday." Before the Bito siblings arrived, Shiki occupied the seat beside Neku while Eri was bugging the crowd on fashion senses, probably someone she knew.

Shiki gave him a small smile before going through the routine questions like "How are you?", "Is everything alright?", and "You looked tired..." to which Neku answered with the help of some white lies. The arrival of Beat and Rhyme helped Neku escaped more of Shiki's question but he did not like it when Beat slapped his back.

"Phones, what's da get up for yo," Beat laughed while his sister, Rhyme, only shook her head in apologies. Neku laughed lightly at the siblings; after all, it was refreshing to see them again. Beat would always tell him stories of his latest break out with the school teachers, and Rhyme would just correct the word his brother had used wrongly.

Neku was surrounded with his friends who were all full of life and not a moment too dull. The girls would look at Eri's new designs and praised her for a job well done, while Shiki agreed to Rhyme's praises. And the praises would go back to Shiki for her needle skill. Yes, it was truly comfortable with all his friends here. Worries left forgotten.

After a few hours of hanging out, it was time for Neku to head home. He remembered he had some homework and chores to do. With a farewell given to all his friends, he went his way to his home. Unknown to everyone, a dark blur jumped out from nearby bush and started to follow Neku not too far away. Only one person noticed that and that was the youngest child of the Bito Family. She only stared at it in suspicious without saying anything. Both of them kept getting smaller until they could not be seen by the eyes, Rhyme wondered what was that and decided to ask the boy next time she saw him.

Door unlocked, shoes were thrown aside at the door way, uniform replaced with a more casual comfy wear, Neku was going on his way until he stood frozen in his living room. He nearly had a heart attack, staring at the creature which was sitting there returning the favor. The shiver he felt before came back, allowing him to do a mental victory dance for his accuracy, but that was not the time now. A freaking Wolf Noise was in his living room!

Even though the Noise was not the standard size, it was quarter of its original Noise he saw during the game. Backing away from the living room slowly, Neku ran to his room. He thought that locking himself in his room would help. Unfortunately the little Noise followed him and was quicker than him. "Damn damn damn, if these pins would freaking work here!" screaming and cursing at the pins he kept in his room, he did not notice the Wolf Noise nudging his nose at the bedpost.

Now that was something Neku did not notice when he woke up, once again he cursed himself for being stupid the whole morning. There was a piece of note along with a circular object on it. The ex-player grabbed onto his pillow as his weapon if the Noise decided to attack him though not that the pillow was going to defend him much. The Noise was sitting like a normal dog obediently, waiting for his master to command.

Taking the notes in his hand, he saw some words with neat and professional hand writing. "_Merry Christmas, Neku. He won't harm you at all. Think of him as a new companion._" Now Neku was confused. He did not know whether he should be happy that his wish for a dog finally came through or annoyed that the person responsible for this did not even think of giving it in person. But a small smile could be seen on his face, even if Christmas was a week ago.

The Noise could sense the tense emotion easing away as time passed, and he thought that now was the right time to give the boy some physical contact. Wagging his tattoo tail lightly, he pounced onto the unsuspecting teen, licking the human playfully.

The unnatural wolf knocked the air out of him, now Neku had a firsthand experience with its power and would not underestimate the power this little creature had ever again. The paper he held was falling down onto the ground lightly like a feather, with its back turned. Neku picked it up and read it with the Noise still rolling on his chest.

"Name it, Neku-dear~" Neku sweared that he could hear the annoying giggle somewhere around him. That jerk.

Crumbling the paper into a ball with a renew agitation, he grabbed the Noise off his chest and stared at it. "So… I have to name you…" the Noise licked the boy's nose since it could not move. Neku could see that this Noise was not the ordinary low level Garage Wolf which he saw the first time. This little one's fur was pure white and had silver blue tattoo for his front legs and tail. It reminded Neku of snow no matter what.

"Icy."

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The wolf noise was created within the RP between me and my friend. It only has a minor roll :3. R&R!


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